Recent car crash in Bitton

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Right now before we get started, it wasn’t my fault. “what’s that coming over the hill, is it the knocksta, is it the knocksta”, don’t run true here. I was proceeding in a westerly direction up through a lovely, narrow, dangerous lane. The chap in the Audi ( Jim ) was proceeding in an easterly direction down the lane.

Bitton car crash

As you can see from where he applied his ‘kipling cakes’ the every so reliable Audi, locked up and sent him up the verge. The verge being made of tried and tested gripping materials such as dirt and leaves, was no match for the mighty weight of the Audi and decided to let it slip a bit, then put it on its side. What happened next was nothing short of comedic but for all the wrong reasons.

At this point I was in reverse and had moved back about 4 metres as it didn’t look as if the A5 wasn’t going to stop. A face full of radiator I could do without. Then, suddenly it did. It had rolled onto its side and stayed upright. Result, I thought, that should be okay and ‘Jim’ will be fine.

‘Jim’ actually looked pretty chipper at this point. No one hurt, car still in reasonable order, good job. Sadly however this was short lived. As Jim repositioned himself in the car, Sir Issac Newton and that crafty cat called gravity took over. Jims face of relief dropped to one of instant fear and the car in Matrix bullet time stylee, rolled over.

Bitton car crash

He and the car were f**ked. Luckily it was nice and slow and I wasn’t overly concerned that he would have been hurt. A scrape of pride but nothing more. I jumped out and hot footed it to his motor, ensuring engine off and helped him out. Jim was shocked but in one piece. The same could not be said for the Audi.

To cut a long story short, car shagged, Jim fine, Ian late for meeting. However Jims wife ( Claire ) turned up and it turned out we had trained together at Team Bath! Further more, she is running the Edinburgh Marathon for Macmillan Cancer Support this weekend. Small World eh?

Moral of the story? Beware of country roads. They have only been spelt with an ‘o’ for polite reasons.

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